I Wanted To Tell Her
by PhoenixStAr2
Summary: My first ever short, my first ever Mamoru P.O.V. story. Check it out! R&Rs are welcomed and requested. ^-^


I Wanted To Tell Her  
By: PhoenixStAr  
Rating: G  
  
My email: kireiphoenix@hotmail.com  
My site : http://takeoff.to/platinumphoenix  
  
AN: I got the idea for this story from an ICQ chain letter I  
read last night. So, if this plot sounds a little familiar,   
you'll know where I got it from. ^_^  
____________________________________________________________  
  
My angel had a beauty that rivaled that of Aphrodite's. Her   
blue eyes shone with naïve innocence that could pave down   
any the emotional wall and her smile was brighter than any   
star could shine. Gold silken hair caressed her heart-  
shaped face when one was lucky enough to view it down from   
her infamous meatball hairstyle. When she cried, her tears   
had the power to shatter any man's heart. She was graced   
with a lithe, sensual body that made every other woman green   
with envy. She had an enthralling personality that couldn't   
be described with words, for almost every living being felt   
a pull towards her friendliness at first sight.  
  
I think I fell in love with her before we even met. Our   
parents were best friends, and, as I had never seen 'Auntie   
Ikuko' so fat, err, pregnant before, I had a habit of poking   
at baby Usagi through her mother's stomach. She grew up   
protected and teased by me, loving life more and more each   
moment. I was there with her when she took her first steps,   
when she lost her first tooth, and when she braved her first   
ride on a bicycle. I was the one who held her hand when she   
experienced her first (and last) roller-coaster ride, and   
the one she ran to when she thought her parents were being   
mean, or neglecting her for her little brother Shingo. And,   
ironically, I was the one she went to for fashion advice   
before she went on every date.  
  
I couldn't name the feeling that stirred within me when she   
told me that she wanted to go out with my best friend,   
Motoki. I couldn't find out why I felt such a deep sense of   
wrongdoing when I experienced my first kiss without her.   
Now I realize that it was because I've been in love with her   
my whole life.  
  
I think I realized that I loved her the year she graduated   
from her senior year in high school. She had been gone for   
a week for her graduation trip, and I was missing her more   
than usual. When she returned, I couldn't help but notice   
the way her hair gleamed in the sun, or the way her eyes   
squinted cutely when she smiled at me as she stepped out of   
her car. While she gave me one of her staggering hugs, I   
kept thinking about how it would feel if she were kissing me   
instead. So deep in thought, I almost missed her excited   
babble about how she had got so much closer with some guy   
from her school, and how he was going to take her to prom.   
As distressed as I was with the idea, I managed to muster up   
a teasish grin and asked her if she was going to leave her   
previous date in the cold. I can still remember the way her   
eyes widened and gasped apologetically, pleading over and   
over again for my forgiveness, claiming that she had   
forgotten about me at the time. I accepted her apology and   
ended up being the one who helped her choose a dress for the   
occasion. But I wish I were the one who went with her...I   
wish I had told her I loved her.  
  
As years passed by, her prom date didn't last very long, and   
I was the one she ran to for emotional help. As she cried   
in my arms about how much she thought she had loved him, and   
how she would never find someone as sweet and as perfect as   
him, I wanted to tell her that I loved her. But that would   
scare her away, so instead, I assured her that the right man   
would come along and sweep her off her feet. I wanted to   
tell her I was that man.  
  
We drifted apart as we both maintained busy work schedules   
and I tried almost desperately to get the haunting image of   
her out of my head. But, when her excited call came for me   
one night, announcing her engagement with another man, I was   
plunged yet again into a pit of desolate loneliness. As I   
listened to her speak wonderfully of the man of her dreams,   
I wanted to tell her to stop breaking my heart with her   
words of love. I wanted to tell her I loved her.  
  
On the most important day of her life, I sat there, in the   
back row of the altar, watching her gaze into the eyes of   
her husband-to-be. When the words that questioned whether   
or not the couple should be denied were asked, I wanted to   
speak up and stop the whole service. I wanted to tell her   
that I loved her.  
  
Now I sit once again in the back row of the altar. Even   
though my heart broke as it did before, the circumstances   
were different. I remember the way she looked five minutes   
earlier, when I looked into her coffin. She's beautiful,   
even in death. The stoic mask that I have developed over   
the years stays in place while the priest speaks. In her   
will, she has entrusted into me the diaries and keepsakes   
she lived by.   
  
At the moment, I'm lying on my bed, thinking about the diary   
entries I had just read.   
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
"...I think I realized I love Mamo-chan today...I can't   
believe I missed him so much while I was gone on my graduation   
trip!  
"...I wish I had gone to prom with Mamo-chan...I wish I had   
the guts to tell him I love him!  
"...We've been separated for a while now, we both have our jobs.   
I wish I could just call him up and tell him I miss him and that   
I love him...  
"...It's the day of my wedding, but I would cancel the whole   
thing if Mamo-chan would just tell me he loved me. I wish I   
could tell him I love him..."  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Kami, I love you Usako. I just wish I had told you.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
